# Mother of the bride dresses: what to wear, on 9 real looks

> Mother of the bride dresses by dress code, season and figure: what the etiquette guides agree on, where they split, and 9 real looks on our mannequins.

- Canonical: https://wearitonme.com/blog/mother-of-the-bride-dresses/
- Author: Maxence Aurel, Founder and AI solution architect, Wear It On Me
- Published: 2026-10-20
- Topic: mother of the bride dresses

Images in this guide are AI try-on renders made with the Wear It On Me try-on: real garments from our catalogue put on our own stock mannequins. Prices as checked on 2026-10-20. Links marked "affiliate link" earn Wear It On Me a commission. Try any of these looks on your own photo, free, at https://wearitonme.com/look-builder

Key takeaways

- Ask the couple first: the dress code, the colours, and whether they want you to coordinate with anyone. By tradition the mother of the bride chooses first and tells the mother of the groom.
- The dress code sets the length. Black tie and formal call for a floor-length gown; cocktail and semi-formal allow tea length, a midi, a jacket dress or a pantsuit.
- White, ivory and champagne stay the bride's unless the couple says otherwise. Most guides now accept black, especially at black tie, after a word with the bride.
- Start looking six to eight months ahead, order two to three months ahead at the latest, and leave two weeks for alterations.
- In fall and winter: sleeves, velvet or crepe, deeper colours, and a shawl or a cape for a church.
- Shoes you can stand in: a block heel or a low heel, and flats in the bag for the dancing.

What should the mother of the bride wear? What the dress code asks of every guest, one notch more polished, in a colour that sits with the wedding without copying the bridesmaids, and never white. The Knot's attire guide, written with stylist Julie Sabatino, sets the order: "Traditional etiquette holds that the mother of the bride picks their dress before the mother of the groom," and the two outfits "don't have to match, but they should coordinate to some extent." Its last word on who decides: "moms should have the final say since they'll be the ones actually wearing it." The guides I read for this page agree on that much. They part ways on black, on red, on champagne, on trousers at black tie and on how early to shop.

The wedding is often a large one. "The overall average wedding cost is $34,200, according to The Knot 2026 Real Weddings Study," which surveyed 10,474 US couples married in 2025, and the same study puts the average guest list at 117 people. Fall is the busiest season: "35% of couples get married from September through November, and 33% of couples get married from June through August." If your daughter's wedding is this fall or winter, the sections on sleeves and fabric below are for you. If you are a guest rather than a parent, our guide to [fall wedding guest dresses for over 50](/blog/wedding-guest-dresses-over-50/) is the other side of this page: it is about how not to look like the mother of the bride.

Every look below is something you can buy. The dresses, the suits and the shawl come from Zapaka, the shop our catalogue carries today, and each was put on our mannequins by the same try-on you can use on your own photo. Under every render: the pieces, their price when we last checked, a link to try them on yourself, and a marked link to the shop. The roundups I read show each dress on a different model. Here every outfit is on the same two figures, a size 8 and a size 12, so what changes from one picture to the next is the dress. Further down there is a list of the big department stores' mother of the bride pages, for the brands our try-on does not carry yet.

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka grey blue tulle A-line gown with flutter sleeves and nude block-heel sandals on our size 8 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Grey Blue A-Line Tulle Embroidered Leaves Long Mother Of the Bride Dress, $164. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A6832726016098. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fgrey-blue-tulle-embroidered-leaves-prom-dress
- Zapaka, Chunky One Strap High Heel Sandals, $50. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A6892061098082. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fchunky-one-strap-high-heel-sandals

*[Render: AI try-on render of the same Zapaka grey blue tulle gown and nude block-heel sandals on our size 12 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Grey Blue A-Line Tulle Embroidered Leaves Long Mother Of the Bride Dress, $164. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A6832726016098. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fgrey-blue-tulle-embroidered-leaves-prom-dress
- Zapaka, Chunky One Strap High Heel Sandals, $50. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A6892061098082. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fchunky-one-strap-high-heel-sandals
## What the mother of the bride wears, in one paragraph

A long dress for an evening wedding, a shorter one or a suit for a daytime or less formal one, sleeves or a layer when the season or the church asks for them, shoes you can stand in for an hour of photos, and nothing white. The Knot's rule on length: "As a general rule of thumb, black-tie and formal weddings call for floor length gowns." Its next sentence gives the rest of the range: "Cocktail and semi-formal events open the door for jacket dresses, jumpsuits and tea-length silhouettes." Brides adds a tie-breaker I agree with: "it's better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed".

The grey blue gown above is the one I would buy for an evening wedding before knowing much else. It is tulle, with a deep V-neck, short sheer flutter sleeves and embroidered leaves in a lighter blue scattered from the bodice to the hem, and it costs $164. On the size 12 mannequin it kept the short train it has in the shop photo; on the size 8 the try-on stopped it at the ankle, so trust the shop photo for the length. Grey blue is a safe colour for this role: it is far from white, and soft enough to stand next to the bride in every photo without competing with her. The sandals are Zapaka's nude block-heel sandals with an ankle strap, at $50, which follows AARP's rule: "A nude-colored shoe works with a dress of almost any color."

*Try this look on your own photo, free: https://wearitonme.com/look-builder*
## Where the guides disagree

| Question | The stricter answer | The looser answer |
|---|---|---|
| Black? | Hobbs: "It's best to steer clear of white and black". Zola, in one article: "Avoid Black: As a color associated with grief, it's best to avoid wearing a black dress to a wedding unless it's a formal affair or has been approved by the bride." | The Knot: "It's totally acceptable for the mother of the bride to wear black to a wedding, especially if the dress code is black-tie." AARP (2024): "There used to be a rule about never wearing black to a wedding, but that has eased up over the years." The same Zola article, in its list of safe neutrals: "despite some old style misconceptions, it's totally appropriate to wear black to a wedding!" |
| Red? | "Traditionally, another color to avoid is red" (The Bridal Finery); "Some bright reds can be rather loud for such a soft, romantic occasion" (David's Bridal) | Joy: "deeper reds like burgundy or wine might work well, especially when you have fall or winter celebrations." The Knot's winter page lists "Festive shades, like red, green, and glittering embellishments" |
| Champagne or cream? | The Knot: steer clear "from wearing white, ivory or champagne hues". Couture Candy: "Do not wear white, ivory, cream, or champagne." | Macy's: "Champagne, rose gold, and pewter add a celebratory shimmer". David's Bridal: "cream could be an option as long as the bride isn't wearing cream." |
| Who has the last word? | "the bride always has the last say here" (Badgley Mischka, in Brides) | "moms should have the final say since they'll be the ones actually wearing it" (The Knot) |
| When to start shopping? | Six to eight months before the wedding (The Knot, Joy, Jovani) | "Start shopping at least three to four months before the wedding" (Couture Candy); "at least two to three months ahead of time" (Emily Post, 2020) |
| Same length as the mother of the groom? | "If one wears a midi dress and the other wears a gown, the photos may look unbalanced" (Couture Candy) | Next to a floor-length evening gown, the mother of the groom "may decide to wear a knee-length cocktail dress" (Zola) |
| A pantsuit at black tie? | "a more casual pantsuit would be too informal for a more formal wedding or black tie event" (Zola) | "Wide-leg trousers paired with a tailored jacket offer a level of polish that rivals any gown" (Macy's) |

Zola answers both ways on black in the same article, which tells you how unsettled the question is. Martha Stewart took a side back in 2019: "If you're thinking about wearing a black gown to your child's wedding, don't let anyone talk you down from your decision-they're sticking with old-school etiquette while you're reading from a more contemporary rulebook." I land on The Knot's condition rather than on either column. Its full sentence: "However, moms should always consult the bride beforehand and consider the venue, vibe and season." Black is fine at an evening or black-tie wedding once you have asked; at a daytime church ceremony I would pick navy instead. On champagne I side with the strict column, for a reason you can see in the last render on this page.

## Who picks first, and when to shop

The order is old and still repeated almost everywhere. Zola: "Traditional etiquette dictates that the mother of the bride takes the lead and shops for her wedding attire first; then, the mother of the groom can choose her dress." David's Bridal adds the step people forget, that she "notifies the Mother of the Groom so they can coordinate their outfits." Emily Post's 2020 advice lets the other side move too: "the mother of the groom shouldn't stand on ceremony; if she hasn't heard anything once the initial wedding plans are underway, she's perfectly welcome to call the mother of the bride." Ivy Jacobson at The Knot is relaxed about the whole sequence: "This tip is a bit old-fashioned though, and the process doesn't have to be so formal."

The bride goes before both mothers. Zola again: "Typically, you shouldn't start shopping for a dress until the bride has selected her wedding dress as well as those for the bridal party." Brides says the same of the bridesmaids' dresses. The reason is practical: you cannot coordinate with a palette that does not exist yet. And if you and your daughter disagree, the guides do too. Etiquette coach Carolyn Powery, quoted by Brides: "The best gift the bride can give the mother is the opportunity to select her own dress for the wedding." Badgley Mischka, in another Brides piece, gives the bride the last word.

On timing, The Knot's version is the one I would follow: "Ideally, you should start shopping for your mother of the bride dress six to eight months before the wedding date, leaving any shipping time and alteration needs in mind." Joy and Jovani give the same six to eight months. Couture Candy says three to four, Zola says "three or more is ideal", and Emily Post says to order "at least two to three months ahead of time, and allow at least two weeks for alterations." The spread looks wider than it is. Six to eight months is when to start looking; two to three is the last moment to order. When you buy online, add the shipping and the time for an exchange.

Then the budget. "Traditionally, the mother of the bride pays for her own wedding attire," The Knot says, and AARP calls the dress "one of the biggest fashion expenditures a woman makes in her lifetime, aside from her own wedding dress." I found no survey of what mothers of the bride actually spend. The nearest figure is The Knot's: "the average bridesmaid dress cost in 2024 was $128 per person". Azazie, which sells these dresses, puts its own value tier at $120 to $300. Every dress and suit on this page costs between $122 and $164 before shoes.

## Black tie and formal: a floor-length gown

The Knot's dress roundup is specific: "If the invite specifies that it's a black-tie affair, opt for a floor-length gown in a dark color, like maroon, navy blue or black." AARP is looser about length: "There is no general rule about length, although an invitation that specifies 'black tie' may warrant a full-length gown." And Emily Post, in 2020: "The length of the gown or dress is a personal choice, even for formal weddings." I would still wear a long dress to a black-tie wedding. The photos last longer than the argument.

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka navy off-the-shoulder sequin A-line gown with black T-strap heels on our size 8 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Off The Shoulder Navy Sequins A Line Long Mother of the Bride Dress, $149. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14925673824619. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Foff-the-shoulder-navy-sequins-a-line-long-mother-of-the-bride-dress
- Zapaka, Leather Black Chunky Heels, $48. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A4342670327906. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fleather-black-chunky-heels

*[Render: AI try-on render of the same Zapaka navy sequin gown under a navy chiffon shawl on our size 8 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Off The Shoulder Navy Sequins A Line Long Mother of the Bride Dress, $149. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14925673824619. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Foff-the-shoulder-navy-sequins-a-line-long-mother-of-the-bride-dress
- Zapaka, Navy Chiffon Special Occasion Evening Cocktail Bridesmaid Wedding Guest Mother's Shawl, $15. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14886514819435. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fnavy-chiffon-special-occasion-evening-cocktail-bridesmaid-wedding-guest-mothers-shawl
- Zapaka, Leather Black Chunky Heels, $48. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A4342670327906. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fleather-black-chunky-heels
The navy gown is the black-tie dress on this page and, at $149, the one I find the best value. The bodice is pleated satin, off the shoulder; the skirt is tulle covered in small navy sequins and petals, so it glitters from across the room and reads as texture up close. It is the dark colour The Knot asks for, and navy has one advantage over black: none of the guides I read objects to it. With Zapaka's black leather T-strap heels ($48), the outfit is complete. For more sparkle by dress code, our guide to [sequin dresses for wedding guests](/blog/sequin-wedding-guest-dresses/) covers the same question from the guest's side.

Off the shoulder is the catch at a church. Couture Candy: "For church ceremonies, choose a dress with more coverage." So the second render adds Zapaka's navy chiffon shawl, at $15, over both shoulders and the upper arms. In the shop photo the shawl has silver embroidery that the try-on did not draw, so expect a little more shine than the render shows. It is the cheapest piece on the page and the one that lets the same dress do both halves of the day: shawl on for the ceremony, off for the dancing.

## Cocktail and semi-formal: a skirt suit or a pantsuit

Brides: "Cocktail and semi-formal directives, on the other hand, call for tea-length and midi looks." AARP on time of day: "If a wedding is to take place after 5, you can always opt for a gown, but knee- or tea-length dresses are also appropriate." Earlier than that, "gowns are not expected." Macy's makes the case for a matching set: "Few looks deliver instant polish quite like a coordinated jacket-and-dress set." The whole code is in our guide to [cocktail dress attire for wedding](/blog/cocktail-attire-for-a-wedding/) guests.

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka light blue satin skirt suit with an embroidered jacket and nude block-heel sandals on our size 8 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Blue 2-Piece Satin Mother of the Bride Dress With Embroidery, $159. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14778905100651. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fblue-2-piece-satin-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-embroidery
- Zapaka, Chunky One Strap High Heel Sandals, $50. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A6892061098082. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fchunky-one-strap-high-heel-sandals

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka navy velvet pantsuit with a shawl lapel and tie belt and black satin bow pumps on our size 12 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Navy Shawl Lapel 2 Pieces Women's Suits with Belt, $122. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14629546721643. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fnavy-shawl-lapel-2-pieces-womens-suits-with-belt-1
- Zapaka, Black Chunky High Heel Shoes with Bow, $69. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A7237326930018. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fblack-chunky-high-heel-shoes-with-bow
The light blue two-piece is that set in its daytime form: a fitted satin jacket with notched lapels, silver embroidery down one side of the front and a satin flower on the lapel, over a straight skirt that stopped at the knee on the size 8 mannequin. It costs $159. I would wear it to a daytime church wedding, a garden ceremony or a city hall wedding followed by lunch, with the same nude sandals as the gown at the top. Joy warns that champagne and off-white "might look lighter in photos". A pale blue carries a little of that risk, and on the render this one stays clearly blue.

The navy velvet suit is the evening version. The jacket has a shawl lapel and a tie belt, the trousers are straight, and the velvet is dotted all over with tiny sparkles that the try-on kept. At $122 it is the cheapest outfit on the page. The Knot's pantsuit guide: "While there are no hard and fast rules where choosing a mother-of-the-bride pantsuit is concerned, your outfit should work with the wedding venue and dress code." David's Bridal is pickier about the cut: "The most appropriate pantsuits have wide-leg palazzo pants that make it look like you are wearing a long skirt." This one has a straight leg, which on the size 12 mannequin stopped at the ankle and showed the black satin bow pumps ($69); in the shop photo the trousers are longer. It reads as a suit, not as a skirt. I would wear it to a cocktail or formal evening wedding. At black tie I would want the gown, since a pantsuit there is the one point where Zola and Macy's flatly disagree.

## Fall and winter: sleeves, velvet and deeper colours

September to November is the busiest stretch of the year, and the etiquette guides give it a sentence or two. The Knot's winter page quotes stylist Alison Bruhn, who "suggests choosing a dress made from a thicker fabric, such as velvet, crepe, or a heavier silk." Azazie: "For outdoor fall or winter ceremonies, long sleeves are the most practical choice." The Knot is not strict about it: "sleeveless, short sleeves and knee-length frocks aren't completely out of the question, especially if you plan on hitting the dance floor." Couture Candy has a rule for the layer that I had not seen anywhere else: "Choose a jacket with sleeves longer than the dress sleeves."

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka cabernet off-the-shoulder lace gown with long lace sleeves and burgundy satin bow heels on our size 12 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Cabernet A Line Off the Shoulder Long Mother of the Bride Dress with Lace, $149. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14766289912171. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fcabernet-a-line-off-the-shoulder-long-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-lace
- Zapaka, Burgundy Satin Prom Heels with Bowknot, $61. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A6632797143138. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fburgundy-satin-prom-heels-with-bowknot

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka sage green beaded A-line dress with a chiffon cape and cream Mary Jane heels on our size 8 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Green A-Line Beaded Round Neck Long Mother Of the Bride Dress with Cape, $149. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A15057765040491. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fgreen-a-line-beaded-round-neck-long-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-cape
- Zapaka, Creamy Ankle Straps Heels, $54. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A4342676521058. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fcreamy-ankle-straps-heels
The cabernet dress is the red Joy allows: a deep one, not a bright one. It has an off-the-shoulder lace bodice with long sheer lace sleeves and a pleated chiffon skirt, at $149, and I paired it with Zapaka's burgundy satin heels with a bow on the ankle strap ($61). In the shop photo the skirt falls straight to the floor. On the size 12 mannequin the try-on stopped it at the ankle and gathered it at the hem, which is not how the dress is cut; the colour and the lace came through well. Red splits the guides, as the table shows. This shade is far enough from bright red that I would wear it to a fall or winter evening wedding, once I knew it was not the bridesmaids' colour. Burgundy has a page of its own: our guide to [burgundy fall wedding guest dresses](/blog/burgundy-wedding-guest-dresses/) tries it in lace, velvet, satin and sequins.

The sage green dress is the softer choice. It is embroidered all over with gold and green beaded leaves, has a round neck and comes with a short chiffon cape over the shoulders, at $149. With cream Mary Jane heels ($54) it is the gentlest look here, and the cape answers the church question without a separate shawl. If the bridesmaids wear sage, though, David's Bridal's advice applies: "the MOB could wear a dress in a similar color to the bridesmaids but in a deeper shade." This one would be too close. The Knot is relaxed about the whole question: "it's also fine for the mother of the bride to opt for an outfit that doesn't match the bridesmaids or the wedding color scheme, if that's what the couple prefers." For a December to February date, our guide to [winter wedding guest dresses](/blog/winter-wedding-guest-dresses/) has fourteen more looks in velvet, satin and dark sequins, and what to wear over them.

*Try this look on your own photo, free: https://wearitonme.com/look-builder*
## Plus-size mother of the bride dresses

None of the etiquette guides I read says anything about size. The Knot's winter roundup lists a size range under each dress, which helps when ordering and does nothing for picturing the dress on your own figure, since every product photo shows a different model. That is what the size 12 mannequin is for: the grey blue gown, the velvet suit and the cabernet dress above are all on it.

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka navy plus-size chiffon A-line dress with flutter sleeves and black T-strap heels on our size 12 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Navy A-Line V-Neck Plus Size Chiffon Mother of the Bride Dress with Ruffles, $133. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14877351084395. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fnavy-a-line-v-neck-plus-size-chiffon-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-ruffles
- Zapaka, Leather Black Chunky Heels, $48. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A4342670327906. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fleather-black-chunky-heels
Zapaka files this navy chiffon dress as plus size. It has a V-neck edged with beading, short sheer flutter sleeves, a bodice that crosses over at the front, and a ruffle that cascades down a high-low skirt, at $133. On the size 12 mannequin the front of the hem rose enough to show the black T-strap heels while the back stayed long, as in the shop photo. The crossover and the ruffle give the waist a line without a seam cutting across it, and the flutter sleeves cover the top of the arm. It is navy again, which Macy's puts among the neutrals that "work beautifully across nearly every venue."

## Shoes and the last details

A mother of the bride stands for the ceremony, the receiving line and the photos, so comfort comes before height. Couture Candy: "A block heel or a stylish low heel works better than a thin stiletto. Bring a backup pair of flats for the reception if needed." Brides: "Steer clear of stiletto heels if your child is hosting their celebration on grass or sand, for example, and, instead, opt for wedges or flats". Who What Wear gives a number: "Keep heel heights 10 CM or under". And AARP, on colour: "Matching the color of your shoes to your dress feels a bit dated unless it just picks up on a colored detail of the dress."

Most shoes on this page have a block or low heel: the nude sandals, the black T-straps, the black satin pumps with a jewelled bow, the cream Mary Janes. The burgundy pumps with the cabernet dress are the one exact match of shoe to dress. AARP would call that dated; I think it works in a colour this deep. I would carry flats anyway.

## Where else to find mother of the bride dresses

Our try-on carries one dress shop today. The large US department stores have whole pages of mother of the bride dresses from brands we cannot put on the mannequins yet. If you buy through these links we may earn a commission. It costs you nothing, and it did not decide which shops are listed.

- [Nordstrom, mother of the bride or groom dresses](https://www.nordstrom.com/browse/women/clothing/dresses/mother-of-the-bride): over 4,000 styles when I looked, including Kay Unger, Mac Duggal, La Femme and Tadashi Shoji.
- [Macy's, mother of the bride or groom dresses](https://www.macys.com/shop/womens/clothing/dresses/occasion/mother-of-the-bride?id=263676): Adrianna Papell, Mac Duggal and Alex Evenings among them. Macy's also has the [mother of the bride outfit guide](https://www.macys.com/s/guides/mother-of-the-bride-or-groom-dresses-and-outfit-ideas/) quoted above.
- [Saks Fifth Avenue, designer mother of the bride dresses](https://www.saksfifthavenue.com/c/women-s-apparel/dresses/mother-of-the-bride): the designer end of the range.
- [ASOS, wedding outfits](https://www.asos.com/us/women/occasion-wear/wedding-outfits/cat/?cid=15493): ASOS has no mother of the bride section, and this wedding page is the nearest.
- [H&M, wedding guest dresses](https://www2.hm.com/en_us/women/occasion/wedding-outfits/wedding-guest-dresses.html): the lower prices, and again no section for the mothers.

## What I wouldn't wear

*[Render: AI try-on render of the Zapaka champagne sequin mermaid gown with cream Mary Jane heels on our size 8 mannequin]*

- Zapaka, Sparkly Champagne Long Mermaid Sequins Mother of the Bride Dress with Pockets, $149. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A14970532462955. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fsparkly-champagne-long-mermaid-sequins-mother-of-the-bride-dress-with-pockets
- Zapaka, Creamy Ankle Straps Heels, $54. Try it on: https://wearitonme.com/product/zapaka%3A4342676521058. Shop at Zapaka (affiliate link): https://www.awin1.com/cread.php?awinmid=91139&awinaffid=2963863&ued=https%3A%2F%2Fzapaka.com%2Fproducts%2Fcreamy-ankle-straps-heels
The champagne gown is a beautiful dress and the wrong one for the mother of the bride at almost every wedding. It is a satin mermaid gown, ruched over the hips, under a short gold sequin capelet with elbow-length sleeves, with pockets, at $149. Zapaka sells it as a mother of the bride dress. The Knot's attire guide: "White, on the other hand, is almost always a no-go. Unless you've received approval from the couple, it's best to steer clear from wearing white, ivory or champagne hues as not to take attention away from the bride." Couture Candy says it in fewer words: "Those shades belong to the bride." Macy's disagrees, with its "celebratory shimmer". Look at the render, though. Under studio light the satin reads as a very pale nude, close to ivory, and in a group photo next to a bride in ivory it is the second wedding dress in the picture. If the couple asks for champagne, it is a lovely gown. If they have not, I would leave it in the shop.

The other misses are simpler. A dress that matches the bridesmaids exactly, unless the couple asks: Zola says "both mothers should avoid matching each other or the bridesmaids' dresses." Bright colours, which Zola also rules out: "Attention-grabbing colors like vibrant orange, bright red, or vivid yellow may not be the best choice." Thin stilettos on grass. And sleeves in the wrong month, which The Knot puts plainly: "Wearing a long-sleeve dress at an outdoor wedding in July is also something you won't want to do."

## Questions people ask

### What should the mother of the bride wear?

A dress or suit that fits the dress code: a floor-length gown for black-tie and formal weddings; a tea-length or midi dress, a jacket dress or a pantsuit for cocktail and semi-formal ones. Choose a colour that coordinates with the wedding without copying the bridesmaids, and avoid white, ivory and champagne unless the couple says otherwise.

### What colours should the mother of the bride avoid?

White, ivory, cream and champagne, which most guides keep for the bride. Several also advise against bright red, orange and yellow. Black divides them: The Knot and AARP accept it, especially at black tie, Hobbs says to avoid it, and Zola gives both answers.

### Can the mother of the bride wear black?

Most guides now say yes, especially at an evening or black-tie wedding. The Knot adds that mothers "should always consult the bride beforehand and consider the venue, vibe and season." At a daytime church ceremony or a traditional family wedding, ask first.

### Does the mother of the bride have to wear a long dress?

Only at black-tie and formal weddings, by most guides. Cocktail and semi-formal weddings allow tea length, midi and jacket dresses, and AARP says gowns are not expected at a wedding early in the day. Emily Post (2020) calls length "a personal choice, even for formal weddings."

### Who chooses first, the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom?

By tradition the mother of the bride, once the bride has chosen her own dress and the bridesmaids'. She then tells the mother of the groom so the two can coordinate. The Knot calls the order old-fashioned, and Emily Post says the mother of the groom is welcome to call first.

### When should the mother of the bride buy her dress?

Start looking six to eight months before the wedding (The Knot, Joy, Jovani). Order two to three months ahead at the latest and allow at least two weeks for alterations (Emily Post). Add the shipping time when you buy online.

### Can the mother of the bride wear a pantsuit?

Yes, at most weddings. The Knot says there are no hard and fast rules, as long as the outfit suits the venue and the dress code. At black tie the guides split: Zola calls a casual pantsuit too informal, while Macy's says wide-leg trousers with a tailored jacket rival any gown.

### Should the mother of the bride match the bridesmaids?

Not unless the couple asks. Zola advises against matching the bridesmaids or the other mother; David's Bridal suggests a similar colour in a deeper shade, and The Knot says an outfit that matches neither the bridesmaids nor the colour scheme is fine if the couple prefers it.

## Sources

- [Mother of the bride attire, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/mother-of-the-bride-attire)
- [Mother of the bride dress shopping dos and don'ts, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/mother-of-the-bride-dress-shopping-dos-and-donts)
- [The best mother of the bride dresses, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/mother-of-bride-dresses-available-now)
- [Winter mother of the bride dresses, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/winter-mother-of-the-bride-dresses)
- [Mother of the bride pantsuits, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/mother-of-the-bride-pant-suits)
- [The average wedding cost, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-cost)
- [The average wedding guest list size, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/average-wedding-guest-list-size)
- [When's wedding season?, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/is-there-an-off-season-for-weddings)
- [The average bridesmaid dress cost, The Knot](https://www.theknot.com/content/average-bridesmaid-dress-cost)
- [What should the mother of the bride wear?, Brides](https://www.brides.com/story/mother-of-the-bride-dress-shopping-tips)
- [Mother of the bride attire shopping mistakes, Brides](https://www.brides.com/mother-of-the-bride-attire-shopping-mistakes-6823462)
- [Who chooses the mothers' dresses?, Brides](https://www.brides.com/who-chooses-mother-of-the-bride-groom-dresses-6747604)
- [Can the mother of the bride or groom wear black?, Martha Stewart](https://www.marthastewart.com/7942934/can-mother-bride-groom-wear-black-wedding)
- [Mother of the bride and groom outfits, the complete guide, Zola](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/mother-of-the-bride-vs-mother-of-the-groom-dresses-whats-the-difference)
- [What color should the mother of the bride wear?, Zola](https://www.zola.com/expert-advice/what-color-should-the-mother-of-the-bride-dress-be)
- [Wedding attire tips for the moms, Emily Post](https://emilypost.com/advice/wedding-attire-tips-for-the-moms)
- [Mother of the bride dresses and gowns, AARP](https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/style-trends/info-2024/mother-of-the-bride-wedding-dresses-gowns.html)
- [Mother of the bride dress etiquette, David's Bridal](https://apps.davidsbridal.com/blog/dresses-and-gowns/mother-bride-dress-etiquette/)
- [Mother of the bride etiquette, Couture Candy](https://www.couturecandy.com/blogs/fashion/mother-of-the-bride-etiquette)
- [Mother of the bride dress color rules, Jovani](https://www.jovani.com/blog/mother-of-the-dresses/mother-of-the-bride-dress-color-rules/)
- [What color should the mother of the bride wear?, Joy](https://withjoy.com/blog/what-color-should-mother-of-the-bride-wear-a-wedding-stylist-reveals-all/)
- [Mother of the bride dresses, The Bridal Finery](https://www.thebridalfinery.com/blog/mother-of-the-bride-dresses)
- [Mother of the bride or groom outfit ideas, Macy's](https://www.macys.com/s/guides/mother-of-the-bride-or-groom-dresses-and-outfit-ideas/)
- [How to put a mother of the bride outfit together, Hobbs](https://www.hobbs.com/us/how-to-put-a-mother-of-the-bride-outfit-together.html)
- [Fall and winter mother of the bride dresses, Azazie](https://www.azazie.com/blog/fall-winter-mother-of-the-bride-dresses-sleeves-velvet-warmth/)
- [How much to budget for a mother of the bride dress, Azazie](https://www.azazie.com/blog/how-much-should-i-budget-for-a-mother-of-the-bride-dress/)
- [Mother of the bride dresses, Who What Wear](https://www.whowhatwear.com/mother-of-the-bride-dresses)